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Increasing Leadership Influence Through Intentional Language

June 24, 2024

Two months ago, I was on a flight from DC to North Carolina to work with a client. Just before takeoff, the pilot announced over the intercom, “Um, so unfortunately, we're showing a lot of bumps on in the forecast here, there's bumps all around us. I'm hoping it's not as bad as what the forecast is showing, but we're hearing from some other aircraft that it's a very unpleasant ride. So, ah, unfortunately it’s not going to be a great ride today. So... I'm going to put the seatbelt sign on here for the duration of the flight."

His words and tone were very tentative and negative, and didn’t make me feel calm or reassured, but rather more anxious and uncomfortable.  

He might have confidence and great skill as a pilot (the plane did land safely!), but he didn't convey that with his tone and language.

I've been on other flights where a pilot comes on and says, “Folks, we're getting a weather forecast today that we might see some bumps on our ride so we're going to put the seatbelt sign on for the duration of the flight. We're going to take off here in a few minutes and we'll get you on the ground safely in about two hours.”

Simple, confident, and to the point. The same information was conveyed with clarity and reassurance. I felt at ease because the pilot communicated with certainty.  

Every day as leaders, in big and small moments, we have an opportunity to convey confidence and certainty, or confusion and uncertainty with the language we use.  

Are you concise and to the point? Or do you bury your message in confusion, tentative language, and too many details? In most cases, less is more.  

The next time you communicate with your manager, or with a customer or team member, be thoughtful and purposeful with the language and tone you use.  

Here are four strategies for speaking with clarity and intention:

  1. Use language that displays confidence and certainty.

Have you ever called your cable company with an issue, and you get the sense that the customer service representative is not going to solve your problem? You're telling the person your issue, and they say things like “Um, well, I don't know, that's not really my department”, or “I'll have to look into this or research it and have someone get back to you.”

You hang up the phone and think to yourself, “I will never hear from that person again”.  

Contrast that with when you get someone on the phone who instills a sense of urgency and competence. You feel at ease knowing they will solve your problem. For example,  “I'm so sorry this happened. I'm going to research this issue, and I will definitely call you back by five o'clock today with an answer.”

Words like absolutely, certainly, and definitely, instills a sense of certainty with others.

This is especially true if you work in a customer or member service position.

Tentative or vague language like, “I’ll try to get this to you by tomorrow,” or “Let me look into it,” does not convey a sense of urgency or certainty. Be clear and specific in your language. For example, “I will look into this issue and call you back by 5:00 today,” or “This is the first priority on my list today and I will send you the report by noon”, convey accountability and ownership, and generates a sense of trust that you will follow through.  

  1. Be concise in speech and emails.

Whether in a presentation or an email, state your points clearly and concisely. In emails, use bullet points to make the message easier to read.

Think about the main point you want to convey and distill it to a few short bullets.

When giving an update or speech, state up front the three main points you will cover in your presentation. For example, “My presentation today will be focused on the financial performance of the company. I will cover three main points: a budget update, our current return on assets, and our current loan growth”. This gives the audience a preview of what to expect, and organizes your information and data so it’s easier to understand.

  1. Don’t bury the lead.

There is a concept in journalism that you “never bury the lead”. In a news story, the first few sentences should convey the main points of the story, so you capture the attention of the reader.

The same is true in our communication. Instead of starting your message with minute details that lead to your main point, start with the main point, and then include supporting details, if necessary. I find this to be the best way to communicate with most leaders and executives.

Going to your manager and saying, “Here is what I am recommending and why”, is much more persuasive and concise then going to your manager to explain your month-long process and all the details for how you came to your conclusion. Most leaders want only the most important information, and will ask follow up questions if they need more.  

  1. Practice your points.

Particularly for important presentations, build in time to practice. This is one of the best ways to work out the flow of your presentation, organize your ideas, and clarify your points.

It’s one thing to have information in your head, and another to verbally communicate with clarity and confidence.

Practicing a few times will also help you retain information in your memory so you don’t need to rely too much on slides (and don’t put too many words on your slides!). This allows you to be in the moment and engaged with the audience, create connection, and speak with confidence and competence.

When you use your words intentionally, your leadership influence will increase.

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Comments
Migdalia Cruz
October 10, 2024

I really love and enjoy this reading. Reading this I learned that when you speak out clearly you thoughts and ideas people see you as winner, because you are not afraid to go straight to the point.

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Todd Smith
July 11, 2024

Great article.....And happy belated birthday! Welcome to my world, young lady!

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Reply from Laurie:
Thanks so much, Todd!
Beverly
December 19, 2023

Whenever I have a work project that I keep putting off - I think about delegating that project to someone else - which accomplishes 2 things- it gets the project done and frees us my brain space thinking about it.

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Reply from Laurie:
Absolutely, Beverly! We create more time for ourselves, and we can release the mental stress it is taking up.
Melissa Smith
December 7, 2023

Good morning. I loved this read. Thank you so much for sharing. Sincerely, Melissa :)

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Reply from Laurie:
You're welcome, Melissa! Thanks for your comment.
Anonymous
November 29, 2023

Thank you for this blog Laurie. I liked most part and specially "As organizations have become more complex, there is a tendency to require employees to do more with less. This is a slippery slope, and often can result in employees feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. One of the biggest contributors to this is not evaluating resources during the strategic planning process." I will use this practice "A best practice is to do what I call Priority Planning—putting important practices on your calendar ahead of time so they become a priority in your day. Examples of activities to Priority Plan include scheduling recurring coaching sessions with each team member, time for strategic thinking and planning, vacations, doctor appointments, important children’s events, and blocks of time for focused work on projects." To be more effective, I will get a good rest so I can have enough energy in the morning. I will read the blog again along with the other links on employee evaluation. Thank you so much Laurie. Best wishes to you and your family.

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Reply from Laurie:
So glad you will be implementing these things!
Tracey
October 23, 2023

this is a test comment

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Anonymous
October 23, 2023

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lynn beisel
October 20, 2023

I love the feedback on the more than 50 hours of work. AND filling time. So true. Unfortunately, showing that you work longer hours is still seen as being a "hard worker" - not sure how to change that though.

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Reply from Laurie:
Lynn, I agree that working longer hours is still seen as working "hard" in our culture. I wish this was an easy shift. Our society needs to redefine what being productive means--not related to hours, but true productivity, which I find is not related to hours, but is related to focus. I do think leaders in organizations can model great boundaries and set the tone for their culture. Thank you for your comment!
Krystle
September 26, 2023

I enjoyed the read. I concur that transitioning from technical skills to delegating results was a task within itself. I did not realize I was almost trying to do the same thing from my previous position, and it was not working. However, I am seeing the results of how delegating daily tasks makes my job and workload easier. Thank you, Laurie.

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Reply from Laurie:
Thank you, Krystle! I think this is something most managers are challenged with when shifting from a more technical role to a leadership role. Delegation can really help free up time for the leadership aspects of our job.
Anonymous
August 29, 2023

Thank you for sharing information about your trip Laurie! All 3 things resonate with me - probably #1 being the biggest. I know when I'm gone for a week, I'm still thinking about work and need a vacation when I get back because I did not relax enough. I think your idea of a longer vacation is definitely in my future!!

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Reply from Laurie:
I think it takes me a week to just wind down before I can really relax. My goal next year is to take at least one two week (rather than one week at a time) vacation!
Perry Crutchfield
August 22, 2023

Hey Laurie, My take on your list - 1 - everyone has a story - listen 2- social media causes interpersonal problems 5- generational differences create hurdles / earn it you aren't entitled / we should help them get there not give it to them 6 AMEN some leaders I would have followed thru Hell, some I wish - well, you know 7- true BUT be as good as your word and 14- Hopefully we leave some good from our efforts, I know the good leaders I have had have. Seen a lot in my career but it really comes down to treat others the way you want to be treated, fair, honest, and straight forward. Good read. Take care

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Reply from Laurie:
I always appreciate your perspective, Perry! I so agree with you that we should treat others with respect, just like we want to be treated. I have also had leaders that I would follow anywhere, and others who I have learned what NOT to do!
LISA KINNEY
August 16, 2023

I love this so much and thank you so much for sharing! I really just love realizing that enjoying the simple things sometimes is the best! Also recognizing that what is important and fun to you may not be everyone else's fun on the on the trip. “Do we get to keep these toiletries?” was my favorite!!!! :):) Glad you had a great time and got to spend it with your family!

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Reply from Laurie:
I am so glad you are enjoying the blog post Lisa!
Sandra
August 15, 2023

I very much resonate with lesson no 3! Thank you Laurie

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Reply from Laurie:
Thanks, Sandra!
Beverly Zook
August 14, 2023

I think the part that you might have missed in their top 5 things, some of which were not "Italian" or even different from home, all of them happened with you, both of you. And i think that is what they will remember too. And you've got tons of photos that will remind them of what the Sistine Chapel looked like - then they might remember what it sounded like or smelled like. Oh- and i agree with you 100% about sleep!

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Reply from Laurie:
You are so right Bev--it was really about the experience of traveling together. I have on my list to create an album from our trip so we can look back and remember everything we did!
Tracey
August 14, 2023

LOTS of great take-aways from this post! Thank you for posting! I especially love "slow down to speed up". That's a keeper!

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Tracey
August 14, 2023

testing blog comment flow

did this come through?
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Anonymous
August 14, 2023

the not getting enough rest to be at my best. definitely need to get more quality sleep and make that a priority

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Reply from Laurie:
Sandi Richardson
August 10, 2023

It really is hard to narrow down the 3 lessons into one because they are all so interconnected. You need to give your mind and body THE TIME to relax SO THAT you can enjoy the SIMPLE THINGS, including REST. I enjoyed that lesson as a whole. I will take that lesson with me on my next vacation (or staycation). As always, thank you Laurie for your candor and for sharing your own lessons with others so that we too can benefit.

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Reply from Laurie:
Yes, Sandi! Love how you pulled all those lessons together!
Andrea C.
August 10, 2023

Great information and reminders

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Reply from Laurie:
Thank you, Andrea!
Arlene Byrd
August 10, 2023

Laurie, Thank you for sharing your trip and these nuggets. The lessons that resonate most with me are it does take time to relax and getting proper rest. When you devote 15 plus hours of your day for work, taking care of home and others; the 6-7 hours you lay down does not cut it! For me during this time I'm trying to unwind and find myself thinking fighting not to think about what I have to do tomorrow. Even after I create a to do list for the next day...I find things I need to add. Taking a day off here and there doesn't cut it as well because of all the plans you have for that day. I try to make sure my Mental Health Days remains just that.... time for me to laugh, cry, scream.... whatever I need to release the cares and stress!

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Reply from Laurie:
Yes, Arlene! We spend so much of our time working and often taking care of others, that it can feel challenging to even find time to unwind and rest. I am working on building more margin into my schedule and blocking time off next year for some extra days off to really disconnect and relax.
Stephen Wallace
August 10, 2023

Really enjoyed the article... and all very true!

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Tracey
August 10, 2023

Since I was already well aware of #1 (I'm in the same boat with taking a long time to relax), I think I'm resonating most with #3. I'm learning to prioritize sleep / rest and it's been wonderful. Love that you said "I love sleep.". :)

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Reply from Laurie:
Yes, Tracey, I love my sleep and I prioritize it! I feel a huge difference in my energy and focus if I lose even one hour of sleep. I know a lot of people struggle to get good rest, and for some it is not easy.
Anonymous
July 28, 2023

Welcome back from vacation. Well deserve! Action is the key to success. Shoulder to shoulder, coaching and delegating task to help other employees grow are very important. It is a sacrifice that one must do. Forget about yourself and be with your team day in and out to help them grow, is not always easy. On the long run, your team is stronger, and you can depend on them for the success of the organization. Thank you so much!

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Reply from Laurie:
Absolutely agree--action is important for any success. And as a leader, we have to take action--connect with our team, make time for coaching, and showing appreciation. Thanks for your comments!
Sandra
July 26, 2023

So many great tips here, thank you!

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Reply from Laurie:
Thanks so much, Sandra!
Tracey
July 14, 2023

I am so impressed you're able to disconnect and these are great tips I'll be sure to try on my next trip!

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Reply from Laurie:
Let me know how it goes, Tracey! :-)
Becca Levian
July 14, 2023

Such a great post - so inspiring!

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Reply from Laurie:
Thank you, Becca!